Unconditional Love

February 1, 2009 marks a major shift in my life; I said goodbye to my mom for the last time. Never in all of my life could I have imagined that moment and it's difficult still to recall. Making that type of decision to let go of one of the most important people in my life was not something I had ever wanted to do and quite frankly I never want to do it again. We said goodbye to my mom as we knew her physically here on earth, but I know that she is with us every single day. What's most difficult is that not only did I lose my mom on that day, I lost my closest, most loyal, caring, compassionate, and understanding friend.

I lived away from my family for many years, but there wasn’t a day that I didn’t talk to my mom. She was my sounding board and confidant; she was honest and not afraid to tell me to get my shit together. She was my voice of reason (even when I felt I didn’t need one, which, I won’t lie was quite often) and my biggest fan. She even managed to find a way to laugh at my jokes and look past all of my many flaws. She was a hard worker, dedicated to her job and her family. I like to think that I turned out to be an “OK” kid, and that is all due to her selfless and unconditional love that she showed me all of my life. There were plenty of days that we got on each others nerves. I have no doubt (because she wasn’t afraid to tell me) that there were days that she wanted to strangle me, but she still found a way love me and be there for me. It wasn’t until our daughter was born on August 29, 2008 that I feel I truly began to see and appreciate the love of my mom. I needed my mom more than I had ever (or at least ever admitted) needed her before.

I don't think it was just a coincidence that we recently moved back home. Although the true reason wasn't clear to us at the time we were afforded the chance to become closer as a family. My mom was able to spoil her much loved granddaughter and watch her grow right before our eyes over the last few months. Our time back here was more precious than we could have ever known.

I still question every day why my mom had to leave so suddenly and so soon. I'm not sure that it will ever make sense, but that is why today I am especially thankful to have known and to have been loved by such an amazing woman. I will strive every day of the rest of my life to make my mom proud.


In your loving memory... Kathy Eileen Cope ~ June 15, 1958 – February 1, 2009