Evie has a secret...

Yep, a big ol' secret!


































A secret she's been wanting to share for weeks.....



































Can you guess what her secret is?


















































Did I mention she is walking... no, no, RUNNING now??





Ok, well that's not the secret, but it's pretty exciting news!



So, what could her secret be?
































Evie wants everyone to know....


















































that...















































she...












































is...





























going...









































to be...

A BIG SISTER!!!

Yep, believe it or not, Miss Evie will be a big sister this Christmas! It's hard to imagine having another, we're just beginning to grasp the idea ourselves, but here comes baby #2! We are very excited, although it's rather bitter sweet for me since I won't have my mom to share the experience with this time. Even though I know she won't get to hold this one, I know she will be watching over us and we are so incredibly thankful to be blessed with another beautiful baby. We don't know the sex of the baby yet, but may find that out in an ultrasound on the 17th (NEXT Friday!) and we will be sure to update when/if that happens. As of right now our due date is December 26, 2009 and I will continue to update friends/family as things progress!

Merry Christmas everyone!!! :o)

Your Day

Dear Mom,

I wanted you to know I’m thinking about you like I do every single day, but especially this week and today. Who knew last year would be my last mother’s day with you. We weren’t together on Mother’s day, but I remember you sent me a card because even though I wasn’t technically a mom yet I was expecting Evie. You were always so thoughtful and all of the cards you sent or gave me over the years will mean so much more to me now. I look back at them and study your handwriting on them to try and remember something as simple as how you held your pen, or how you wrote me notes, and signed all those bus passes when I was younger, and what your hands and fingers look like. You always tried to have me hold your hand even as I got into my twenties because you never wanted “your baby” to grow up and I remember being so embarrassed. You said it, someday I would wish I could do those things, and you’re absolutely right. Today I would give anything to proudly walk down the street holding your hand, getting one more moment close to you. I now know the feeling of never wanting “my baby” to grow up. I wish you were here to see it and experience it with me.

It is going to be a really difficult mother’s day this year. I’m so blessed and so thankful to have Evangeline. She really is a miracle and a blessing and the best thing to ever happen to us. She gives us all strength and reason to keep going. You would just laugh so hard at all of the silly things she does. I know you’re watching, but I really wish I could see you laughing at her. I know you would be so proud of all she’s learned so far. She’s really trying to learn how to walk though her legs are still pretty gumby-like, she’s completely mastered crawling and her speed amazes and terrifies me. She can clap, say “ma ma” and “da da” (though we don’t know if she associates da da with daddy just yet), and she’s eating real food now although her hand to mouth coordination needs some work. She gives hugs and kisses and the funniest thing of all is that she actually recognizes and knows “kitty”. All those weeks you spent teaching her the word kitty and now if we can’t get her attention we say kitty and she turns and looks at us or finds the nearest cat. I know beyond a doubt in this world that you taught her that. Jeremy of course rolls his eyes, which I know you would get a kick out of, but it’s a piece of you in her I just know it. She might not remember what it felt like to be in mom mom’s arms, but she will remember you and how proud you were of her and how much you loved and adored her.

I’m wishing you a happy mother’s day mom even though you aren’t here on this earth with me. I hope you know that the 27 years of unconditional love you showed me was not taken for granted and never will be forgotten. You continue to influence me every single day and your love continues to comfort me. I miss you more than words can ever begin to express. Please stay close to us and continue to send us signs of your presence in our lives. I know you are, and we know how you continue to touch us. (This last “sign” was a little over the top don’t you think??)

Happy Mother’s Day, mom. We may take a trip up to Lancaster on Sunday if the weather is nice to remember you because I know how much you loved it. We still want to spread some of your ashes up there, but may wait to do that on your birthday. Hoping for nice enough weather that we can make a trip for you and you can be with us there. Regardless of the weather I will definitely be visiting your grave this Sunday with Evie so I hope you’ll know we are there thinking of you and missing you.

Love,
Coral
…………………………………………….

It’s been a while since my last post, but there is not a day that goes by that I’m not thankful for something. Today I’m so thankful to be a mom myself. It is the best thing I’ve ever done in my life and I wouldn’t trade it for the world. It’s a hard and thankless job but the rewards are amazing. If you are so fortunate to still have your mom in your life, please hug her tightly this Sunday and every single day. It’s unbelievable how life can change in a matter of hours and believe me you never want to live with all of the things you wish you had done differently. My mom deserved so much from us and I’d give anything for another day to show her how much she meant to us. Happy Mother’s Day to all the moms out there, may you have a beautiful day full of love and recognition for all that you do. We are all better people because of our mother’s love. I pray that I can spread my love and my mother’s love down to Evie.

Short & Sweet

Despite the fact that I haven't slept in over 24 hours, I am so very thankful that...

The sun is shining after a morning of really nasty rain and thunderstorms.

Jeremy is feeling better after a scary night in the emergency room.

I just got a picture of Evie COVERED in carrots (seriously it looks like she got into a fight with the container of carrots and lost, miserably) and she is happy despite teething, a crappy cold, and an ear infection.

Stellan (I mentioned him below) is getting better. What a miracle! (http://www.mycharmingkids.net)

It is Friday!

And, I'm hoping that if you read this you remember the things you have to be thankful for and have a wonderful weekend!

2 months

2 months...

59 days...

1416 hours...

an eternity...

That’s how long I’ve been missing you mom.

I can hardly believe two months ago today I was in the hospital with you waiting anxiously as they performed test after test to determine their “prognosis”. I held your hand so tightly and studied your fingers realizing how much my hands look like yours. I listened to the beeping machines and the wheezing and whistling of the ventilator, sounds I will never get out of my head. I studied the bags of iv’s that led to the central line into your heart hoping that the medication would reach the infection soon enough to stop it. I talked to you and told you how much we loved you and how badly we needed you and how much Evie loved you and needed her Mom Mom and begged you to hang on and fight. I tried to comfort dad but watched helplessly as he paced the waiting room and back and forth to your room. I prayed continuously for a miracle. I agreed with dad to stop the testing and treatments once we knew that it was in fact brain death. I stood by your bed and held your hand and kissed your forehead a hundred times before you left us. My heart sunk when they finally came in to administer the morphine so that you felt no pain once the breathing tube was removed. I cried from the deepest part of my soul as the ventilator was removed and held on to you for what seemed like an eternity as your heart beat it’s last beats. We prayed over you to go to Him and be healed and to be with Mom Mom and Pop Pop. I said goodbye and promised we would all be ok.

I’m trying to live up to that promise mom and today I’m vowing to make more concrete steps towards that. I still have a lot of grieving to do and I miss you in ways I could have never imagined. But if I’m learning anything from this it is that life is precious and we have to make the absolute best of what we are given. We never know what may come so we need to be living every day to its fullest and not putting things off. There are a lot of things I want to do, changes I want to make for myself and for the benefit of my family. I’ve begun by setting some short term goals for myself, and today I can check off one of those items. The time for wishing things were different is done and if I want things to be different than I need to start making those changes.

2 months later, an eternity without you, I’m thankful that I can start to see some light and have the strength to begin to make things happen as a result of all of this. I really hope that this is a turning point and will do my best to stay motivated; to keep my promise. If you were here with me now this is what you would want and I think you would be happy. Even though you aren’t physically here with me mom, you continue to teach me and motivate me in so many ways. You’ve instilled in me things I only hope I can teach Evie. Please continue to guide me. You are missed so dearly and so incredibly loved.

When things go wrong as they sometimes will,

When the road you're trudging seems all uphill,

When the funds are low and the debts are high,

And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,

When care is pressing you down a bit....

Rest if you must, but don't you quit.

Success is failure turned inside out,

The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,

And you never can tell how close you are,

It may be near when it seems afar.

So, stick to the fight when you're hardest hit...

It's when things go wrong that you mustn’t quit!

Please Pray

I am so torn up emotionally about this sweet baby who is desperately in need of everyone's prayers.



Mom, if you can, please be with this sweet little boy.

Today I am so incredibly thankful for another healthy day with my family. And I am so thankful for everything in my life at the moment, the good and the bad. I am so thankful for life.

Although I do not know them personally, please pray for this family. Their sweet baby boy needs our prayers.

Are you there, Mom?

It's me, Coral. I'm thinking about you a lot today. Hoping you can help me get through these tough times. I have faith that you're with me and going to help me navigate my way through all of this. I miss you dearly.

Today I'm thankful that tomorrow is Friday. My time with my family is by far the most important thing in my life and I can't wait for the work part of the week to be through so my family time can begin.

From a day with none to a day with many...

I have many things that I want to share with you that I am thankful for, but I have to find the right words. In the meantime, today I am so thankful for the beautiful weather. There are so many reasons we are looking forward to Spring and I'm so glad it's giving us a preview today! Thank you for this beautiful spring-like day! I'm hoping for many more like it.